CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

Somebody played God again. But have we really got the right to? I mean, who are we to judge a life? Life is all some people have. Can we consider ourselves so wonderful and perfect that we can point to a man and say "Die!" Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Not that people shouldn’t be punished for their crimes, but how can a person say that he is helping society by getting rid of another person? What do we think we’re doing – teaching him a lesson? Why bother if he’s going to be 6 feet under?

Oh come off it, people! Dying doesn’t set a man right. But it’s possible living might. If prisons were decent, maybe prisoners would be.

Capital punishment is a disease of society. When a person says he is glad someone is going to die, he is sick. He is guilty of murder in a way. Are you a murderer?

What’s the meaning of civilization? I don’t think capital punishment fits in. There’s got to be something better.

Jessica Bagg and Paula Gregory

A LOOK AT THE HERMITAGE

Everyone in Ho-Ho-Kus has one time or another heard of the famous Hermitage on Franklin Turnpike. It is a beautiful old home now crying for attention since its Gothic Revival in 1845. It has steadily gone from bad to worse with the weather and, even worse, vandalism.

Not long ago, several men toured the house. Our state parks superintendent, Richard Riker, Captain Robert Re, and John Pangburn, staff writer for the Record, went inside to explore. They followed the plan made by the 19^th Century architect, William Ranlett, who designed the beautiful mansion.

The home consists of a dining room, library, game room, bake room, and a large front bedroom looking out on St. Luke’s School across the street.

The secret room is where the slavers were supposed to be hidden. It is a small opening in a wall upstairs. When the room was first discovered, it had a few old chairs, woodworking tools, and (to those of you who didn’t know) a skeleton wrapped in an old flag. No one knows the identity of the skeleton, it will just have to be a mystery, probably never answered.

Miss Rosencrantz and her good friend and companion, Miss Kathryn Zahner, spent most of their time in the parlor and kitchen which consisted of an old wood burning stove and later an electric heater, also old pieces of furniture which definitely have not been used in years.

The grounds and property, covering five acres, will be restored using Mr. Ranlett’s landscaping plan. State workers have already started to clear brush and build up the roof. Located on the grounds were found a croquet court to the north, and to the back is a vegetable garden.

Of course it will take two or three years to restore completely, but when it is, it will be quite a historical landmark!

Debbie Ebinger

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

A recent survey shows that our of the 85 students in the eighth grade, 27 percent are going to private school, and 76 percent are going to B.F. or where else the town sends them.

For boys, St. Joseph’s Regional in Montvale leads with seven out of the ten boys going to Catholic schools. Bergen Catholic has one student entering next Fall, and Don Bosco in Ramsey has two.

Immaculate Heart Academy on Washington Turnpike has 14 girls coming and Academy of Holy Angels expects two. One student plans to attend boarding school.

Bob Lizza

BOMB HITS HO-HO-KUS

No, it’s not Red China. It’s not the U.S.S.R. It’s a BAD play called NOW! HOW! In which people have nothing better to do than stereotype the American Indian, the Germans, the Italians, the French, the Englishman, men and women.

The cast’s portrayal of the typical women’s liberationist is nothing short of ridiculous. If you happen to see a libber with a $20 hair-do, party dress, or "bunny" type outfit on, let me know.

Cues are forgotten. The first night is not always the best, however. Though this play does not have professionalism, it has some enthusiastic cast members.

Some relieving penicillin is injected in this mass of bacteria, particularly in the case of Lillian Rehm’ solo, "If I Could." This is stupendous. How she can stand like a corpse, wiggling a single finger, moaning out o tune, and electrify an entire audience is beyond me. Other good players were Mazie Dench singing "Listen World," Larry Martin as Wolfgang, Mike Conlow singing "Dream On," and John Collins singing "Fearless Furiousa."

Many people probably enjoyed this play. It offended me. It sang praise to stability, put down "upstarts" and "wild-eyed radicals and revolutionaries," not to mention in a more subtle way, freedom to think out of the sphere of a small town. In short, it sounds like Spiro Agnew was head writer.

Jessica Bagg

STUDENT COUNCIL CEREBRAL PALSY DRIVE

On Friday, the 16^th, and Saturday, the 17^th, the members of the Student Council will be collecting for Cerebral Palsy. The traditional Easter lilies will be distributed to those who donate. Remember, every little bit will help. So please give!

Judy Evans

!!!OUR BEAUTIFUL WASHROOMS!!!

Have you ever walked into one of our "luxurious lavatories"? Just try washing your hands. Have fun. The second you lift your paw from the faucet to try to rinse your hand, the water stops coming our!

What about those slobs that "forget" to flush after they use the "John!" Ecch!!!

Just try looking for paper towels. What paper towels? Good question! If you’ve just come in from a Students Against Pollution clean-up and you would like to get the filth off your hands, forget it. There ain’t enough soap. (Poetic license)

Improvements are necessary. If everyone would help, especially the students, maybe we could be proud of our bathrooms.

Bob Lizza

Hi, I’m Rosemary Gooney. Close your eye and think back. When was the last time you heard me blab this rot?

"Hey there, you with the scabs on your face…"

And in 1954 the airways were cluttered with this trash by Tony Bennett: "I know I’ve been gone from hags to witches…"

And you were probably barfing and swearing to Pattie Page’s smallest hit of all "I was bitten by my darling to the Tennessee Waltz…"

Yes, you get all these crummy hits and more, if you waste $5.95 on this junk. And, if you order now, you get another album: "Love songs of the 50’s, with what’s-his-face singing "Ripped Sports Coat" and someone else singing "Botch-a-me."

Yes, Friends, our sixty seconds are up and we are too cheap to spend more money on a longer ad, besides you will see this ad again in 5 minutes as usual.

Tom Merck

ATTENTION ALL MEMBERS OF MALE FACULTY !!!

The Warrior received many, many letters from upper graders in favor of a faculty-girl’s team game. How about it, men, are you scared of a few teenage girls?

"THAT’LL BE THE DAY"

…When Mr. Perry throws out all his red books.

…When Mrs. Krause lets Mr. and Mrs. Thibaut retire.

…When language records come in stereo.

…When Mrs. Mercier draws a blue dot.

…When Mr. Zimmerman comes to school in dungarees, boots, and a tank top.

…When Mr. Cassels burns the New Your Times and plugs the Warrior.

…When Mrs. Scardino joins Women’s lib.

…When it is quiet in the school library.

…When Mr. Van Orden chains smokes.

…When I get away with writing an article like this without getting detention.

Robert Gould

GERTY’S GOSSIP

6^th – R.T. likes C.R. who likes J.M. D.Z. isn’t too happy about that!

7^th – L.W. loves G.T.

Did you hear about J.D.’s party? You should have seen M.C. and B.A., B.O. and K.D., L.S. and M.B!

Someone wrote us that J.D. loves C.D., but here is a very suspicious note that was obtained by a reliable source:

Dear C.

What did S. say? Is K. going to L.? He wouldn’t go if K. doesn’t. I feel like killing myself. I feel so worried about him.

Draw your own conclusions. J.

8^th – P.O. was seen sneaking off to Connecticut last weekend. Whatcha doin, P.?

Isn’t it a shame the W.M. can’t decide between Serge, Toni, and John, or even Bob?

Is it true the P.O. looks forward to going to Science everyday because she sits in front of M.B.?

Does J. like C.? Judging by the swim party, yes!

S.G. loves the Funky Chicken. Right on S.! Too bad, Steve.

Hepzihbah loves Zack. Figure that one out folks. Darned if we can!

Keep that slander coming in, folks.

GUESS WHO

This person is in the eighth grade, has blonde hair and blue eyes. He’s on the basketball team. He takes French. This person has many 7^th grade girls as fans and is about 5’6". Super clue: "I’m sure."

This person is in the 7^th grade. She is very cute, has brown hair and greenish eyes. She is in 7P and is adorable. She takes French, and has a relative in the same French class. Super clue: Johanna DiGrazia loves her relative.

This person is in 7^th grade, cute, and in Spanish 2 and Mr. Perry’s math class. He has brown hair and hazel eyes, and is going with the smallest girl in the seventh grade.

This 8^th grade boy has hair that looks like he put his finger in a light socket. He doesn’t like any girls, except in 6^th grade he really liked Cathy C. Chef, as he is called, gets basketballs chucked at him every day by M.B. P.S. He hates Quantas Airlines.

STORY TIME

One day this guy was waling down a street and a gloobely glob came up to him. Then he chopped off his leg. The End.

Phonzo Jones

CAN YOU SEE IT?

We will now tantalize you with another article. Due to last month’s mishap with our supposed leaders, this is our second.

Now we will reveal to you the latest creation out of Lizza and Walsh’s kitchens. Here it is, Fans!

The World Renowned Breakfast Sandwich

1. Put a frying pan on stove (little above medium heat)
2. Place three slices bacon, three sausages in pan.
3. Preheat second pan at medium heat. Place wad of country fresh butter in it.
4. Taking two eggs in hand, you crack them gently so as not to harm the little embryos.
5. Reach into your bread storage chamber and pull out a loaf of bread. Wonder, that is.
6. Take three slices of this cooked wheat four delight and place it in your little box called a toaster.
7. By now the sausages and bacon should be done. (Yield! Stop! Caution!) Cook sausages thoroughly so you don’t get trichinosis, o.k.? (not that we care.)
8. Slice sausage in half length-wise.
9. Take eggs of the stove, take toast out and butter it heavily.
10. Place one egg on a slice of toast. Top this with the strips of sliced pig. (bacon, stupe)
11. Place another slice of toast on this mountain of food. Add the last egg, the rounded pig meat and the last slice of toast in same order. You’ve done it, Fans!!!

P.S. We have had complaints from the ignorant people led by N.L. We will deal with these so-called "humans" who constantly knock our article. If you know what’s good for you, read our article and enjoy it OR ELSE. Face the consequences.

Walsh and Lizza

MUSIC

Correction: In the last issue I mentioned Elton John’s latest and called it "Sagebrush". The true name is "Tumbleweed Connection".

The album "Emerson, Lake, and Palmer" by Emerson, Lake and Palmer has a lot of hard rock mixed with classical guitar. If you enjoy hearing someone who can really play the organ, get this album. I give it a high rating.

Frank Zappa has a new moving coming out called "100 Motel Rooms," plus an album "Chunga’s Revenge." It’s a typical revolution album and I rate it "F" for flunk!

In the future, look for a three man group that is coming to fame. It’s called "Spiro’s Heros". Is that a name or what!!!

Bob Lizza

SPORTS

The Warriors made the St. Lukes Tourney but didn’t come close to defending their title. Jim Walsh and Fudd Kelley both fouled out in the fourth quarter. Fudd with 14 points and Jim with 4. Other top scores were Gregg Tomberlin with 8 and Mitch Bogdanffy with 2. Final 61-39 (unofficial).

Walsh and Kelley had 4 fouls apiece going into the third quarter. Both were kicked out on very bad calls. After the game I interviewed Walsh and he said, "I was playing under protest from the start because the refs didn’t know whether they were coming or going." Tough luck, gang!!

The newspaper staff wishes the baseball team good luck for the season ahead. And I’ll leave you with an old sports quote that still does and will always apply…

"It’s not whether you win or lose,
It’s how you play the game."

Bob Lizza

THE H.H.K. BASEBALL TEAM

So far the team has had one practice and there are about 10 eighth graders going out. Not nearly as much as past years. Why? So far they look…well we’d rather not say, but I’ll try to cheer them on (I’m sure I wo…)

Good luck Coach,
You’ll need if, just like B.Ball.

P.S. Good Luck technical Speir.

Jim Walsh & Bob Lizza

WILLIS REED

" Willis Reed is listed at 6’10" and 240 pounds but the captain and inspirational leader of the World Champion Knicks must have the biggest heart of them all," says Pro. Sports. And I can’t disagree with them.

Willis’ average this year is 21.2. He comes in scoring 15^th in the N.B.A. and 5^th in rebounding. Not bad! Willis is in his seventh season and he’s really enjoying it! He tries to make even his opponents his friends. Willis has a show (Willis Reed MVP) and he had Earl (The Pearl) Monroe on one week! He has a camp in the summer for kids, makes commercials, his show, and of course, Knick games to play in, so he’s really quite busy!

Although Lew Alcindor has four inches on him, Willis does a terrific job on him. Wilt (the Stilt) Chamberlain also has 3 ½ inches on him but that doesn’t stop him! Neither does his knee inflamed with tendonitis! Willis would rather break a leg than let his teammates down.

Follow the Knicks away games at 8:00, Channel 9 (on the west coast 11:30) and home games 7:30 Radio 66. Knicks Highlights can be seen Saturdays at 1:00.

Once Willis was asked what sport he liked best in his senior year in high school and replied, football! He was also asked about his body control and he said, "It isn’t that it’s body control, it’s body strength." I agree. Have you ever seen those biceps? Besides that, he’s very agreeable. All Red Holzman has to do is say and Willis does.

Once while I was watching a Knick/Celtic game, Red Holzman didn’t agree with a call and walked out onto the court (technical foul) and started yelling at the referee. With that Willis got up, and started holding him back! It looked so funny to see big Willis Reed holding back tiny (compared to Willis) Red Holzman. To make it even funnier, Red was trying to resist!

The Knicks have clinched the Atlantic division title, so let’s hope for the World Championship again!

Tina Ace

THE MUHAMMAD ALI VS. JOE FRAZIER BOUT

March 8^th, the loud spoken Ali said "no contest." He predicted a sixth round knockout. Ali claimed he was too fast for Frazier. Frazier said, "no, I’ll be smokin right on ya."

Ali had three year non-fighting period. In the meantime, "Smokin Joe" was practicing his hard left hoods and right jabs. Ali was still telling the press how "Frazier’s gonna need Vitalis."

No matter who would win, they each were to get 2 ½ million dollars.

Latter that day was the weigh-in. Ali weighing 215 and Frazier, 205. After the weigh-in was the fight. Now, though Ali’s 7 ½ reach was of help, his big mouth wasn’t very effective in the ring.

It was a hard fought match all the way. In the final round Frazier threw a wicked left hook which caught Ali on the right side. Ali went down and in a desperate attempt to get up got thrown another hook from Frazier. Ali, trying for a knockout, threw on back, and the crowed roared. But Ali failed and the bell rang. Frazier won!!! The decision was obvious but Ali’s coach thought Ali won.

AND SO DID I.

Mitch Bogdanffy